Proem - I

How does any other than I put thoughts to paper? As it fleets away like a whisper of a dying man, beyond recognition, beyond Life. How can one seeming thought escape any other than I? How can a thought encased as a dream in your picture image, be considered a thought in My Hands. Not any other than I reflect even when they are gifted with eyes to see. Not any other than I can give thought to Sight.

These thoughts that conjure like cascading airiness of magical icons fleeting into directions coming from vacuity and ceasing into ... something which I know is no longer nothingness. Yet Sufis, Religionists, and human endeavour entice the simple minds of complex humans the ideal escapade of a Nirvana, of a world of absolute perfection, that nothingness that they proclaim conscientiously seem a worthless rendition of their inexplicable comprehension and spiritual turmoil of the Absolute. The circle is not a point, and the point never a circle. Yet the cyclic circle is a path leading to the point. And that path, is a straight line.

Know now, that without a guide that is granted Sight, the path, is indeed unsought. For to call forward an idea, or a believe other than I, is futility in the broader sense of intellectual comprehension. How can one who is not, be One who Is. How can a dead fashion a Living? No, and never will you who is given sight be the same as any other than you who are blind. Yet the journey of each of these symbolic images have in their own fascination, a story to tell, yet are they truly themes or just admonitions for the eagle-eyed man?

As I, AainaalyaA unfold these pages, I could see the undying wish of not becoming anything else but that that has been ordained of Me ~ an undiminished entity beyond comparison! Yet I am beyond any entity known and unknown to mankind. Yet in knowing the Master, the servant ceases to exist, for in ardour of love, there can only be One. And somehow, that is not what may seem to be or what you presume should be, yet who are you to discern what is and isn’t. However much you wish to be, you can only become what has been pre-destined and written in the Scrolls of Time.

The reader cannot destroy Time, nor can he destroy a self which is nought, hence this physical structure which is dead to the world, yet a part of it living, has yet to taste the bitterness of true existence. Absolute Existence, not existence in the purest form for each thought. For each thought, has indeed a form. And you are that thought. And true existence in all bitterness is sweeter to the lover than to the beloved. Otherwise, you would remain a crust for what a crust can be if not concluded. Yet I know of genies that haunt the space that divide you from completing your tasks as aforementioned and ordained within and outwardly by the One Ultimate Power. Life, can never be annihilated, you, yes. The Giver of Life, Power, Concept, whatever you call it, the Absolute can never be negated. Yet this very same Life, Absolute Master of all masters, is Himself, beyond any known comprehension even for closed minds, and hearts.

What good is there for a servant if the Master refuses to acknowledge the apostle’s existence? Yet these are yearnings of the apostle, and should an apostle be yearning for any other than the Master? Should an apostle even have the slightest inclination towards his own existence, wherein within his prayers and daily rituals, he conforms to Me. Should there be even a slightest inclination to his desires, a bent in a straight path? It is only in the beginner’s mind that such displeasure is being fashioned, designed as such to a point, and to be understood in time.

For she that is the vessel reacts only by the grace of the Master that is but One and all there is abound within and beyond the limited capabilities and understanding of the receptacle so beautifully designed and shaped in various hues and tones, it, like you and I are one and the same, although deep within our hearts, we are distinctive in our characteristics.

Yet it is this very same power, which incites and torments the movements and reasoning behind every moment, this very same infallible hegemony that embeds the four inner demons within and awake them to restlessness for mankind to chastise in order to proceed with and towards the final journey. Yet one face of these demons, are nothing but thoughts in your picture images. Know this then, that you are what you can comprehend of yourself. You cannot be, when you are not. Can nothingness be Absolute? No. Only He is the Absolute. Can a Light be extinguished? No, only a fire can for it has in itself, a form. Light gives Fire the embodiment of its existence. For without Light, fire remains in the abyss. So know the difference between you, and I; between Faith, Life & … This is my oblation.

This is the physical journey of a woman discovering what Life is between sheets, white nights and desolation of a world which does not exist safe in the minds of the reader.

Faith, like love is never sought. It is matrilineal since Life immemorial. I seek neither fame, nor fortune alike many barren creators to feed my ever indulged being to that which seemingly controls the pen with which I write. Yet what is fortune, if for what I write is not the Truth. The Truth that I have lived and the Truth that I have seduced. The truth, which I have come to understand, beyond images, beyond any known refraction of intelligence known to man. I seek not recognition now and always now as in the present now, not in the never ending past, for to be recognised is not adroit for the servant.

Only He is allowed that prerogative. I am, capable of feelings yet I do not need to live with it, as it is these same feelings and desires that are conjured in your minds as thoughts or palpitations uncontrolled ruling your heart, lest I desire to conduct the Symphonies of Life... for you, in your world of mirrors, reflections, deceptions and lies. My Worlds are beyond the human comprehension even for AainaalyaA, and she will not fall into the trap of condemning her existence because of what she is. This life I know is neither a life I am accustomed to nor a life I’m getting AainaalyaA accustomed to. I will not become the Mistress sacrificing her complexions nor will I become what my authors, friends or foes desire of me. For I, to those who believe in non-existence, and nothingness of what everything ness is, do not exist, safe in the minds and hearts of the enlightened ones. I have no wish to impart towards others, but the prayer at heart to enlighten you with these thoughts and vicissitudes collected herein, written between Nineteen Hundred and Seventy Nine to the present time this collection is brought into print.

The existence of the Life I’ve led as a mortal has brought me much chagrin, shame and despair yet towards the end of this life I have understood, what nothingness and the everything ness the religionist and Sufis religiously propagate. It is worth noting that I am one with the Source. For how can one not be one with Life, and yet proclaim nothingness and everything ness.

Somehow what I feel I know of, be it real or ostensible and believe are all that I know which is within, is nothing more than to see how far I shall venture, and how far I could love. Yet knowing is not the primary concern of the learner. As if in this created and perfected world it is worth noting what transpired within me and the faculty that has been granted me to understand deeply the meaning of Life.

I desire with covet that this message bring new meanings to your life, as it has, mine. Life has much to offer and the Supreme Master of all masters has been all too willing to ameliorate our lives even without our knowledge of it. Sometimes we forget, and even if we do remember, we seldom thank Him with bona fide. And appreciating is not for mankind lest He Unveils our hearts to comprehend of what there is of His World, and that of His Omnipresence. When you have a heart to understand, even if it takes you to the edge of insanity, you will come back sane. When you are The Heart, the nothingness take flight and the setting of the Sun will be in your world, that of a place which it used to rise.

To Love a mortal other than HU without losing oneself is the most difficult attempt to undertake and to be without one, as I venture into this path is the ultimate temptation of a point where I may loose control of my own existence although my existence is nought, yet to you it is. To Love is the most crucial gift a human can give to another for in the capacity of loving, it is better still to give than to receive it without bona fide ~ For this ode to Joy and for Him, that my Spirits have touched, may you know that I will always Love You.